Today the modern-day woman went to school as a little girl. Then to university or straight
into the work force towards becoming a contributing member of society. With the
opportunities that exist today it makes sense that women are as competitive and as
ambitious as how men were viewed to be in the past. The myths of the past that insinuate
that men are superior to women have finally been thrown out (of cause there’s resistance
but we all know it’s a fact). The modern-day woman is getting it! Hopefully this will start
reflecting more vividly in managerial roles and pay scales.
Somewhere along the line the narrative becomes, “you need to settle down”. Oh really! It
becomes, “you need to have children of your own”. Okay! It develops quickly into women
having to become someone’s wife. It’s the norm! I would even argue that girls are raised to
aspire to marriage rather than choose to marry. Apparently, a wife is a female life partner
to a man (in the traditional sense). This is a person who leaves their family and their name
to take on or join another. This person often falls pregnant and often takes on the role of
raising children and helping to grow the number of people who have this other name that
she assumed through marriage. Even if she doesn’t fully assume this name the children she
raises often do. Being a wife to be honest, from the outside looking in, is quite a selfless act.
The men who get these wives must be extremely appreciative of them. This wife, in today’s
day and age, brings in an additional salary (maybe even another from her side hustle). She
has a career and a prolific profile because they grew up being told to work towards this
glorified corner office (which they did) and/or less to no people to report to at work.
Hold on. Some wives, apparently most of them, are also responsible for making sure that
there are cooked meals and warm homes for those who live with them to come back to.
Homework to be done with children and groceries and fresh ironed clothes… All this while
growing their careers and attending the gala dinners and stakeholder engagements and
preparing for work the next day and making some time to do their hair, nails and buy the
clothes that make them look as great as they do… She’s contributing to the bond and the
furnishing of the house, and the school fees and saving up for holidays and paying for their
car instalments. And being all-round pleasant, kind and loving people (especially to in-laws
and friends) … Tjo!
For the most part I hope this isn’t true. I would imagine that wives and husbands live like
true partners. I would hope that no one ever has to sacrifice their ambitions and aspirations
while the other continues to do the things that fulfil them. This while deriving all the
benefits of those ambitions while another becomes the main member in contributing to
building a home. Unless that’s what they want of cause. I can see how contributing to the
development of future generations through your own children is a fulfilling and self-
sacrificing act. To be honest some people get to a point where they no longer want to do
the work thing at all. That’s also okay.
Observing the “traditional” model of marriage and all its success (yes, for generations it’s
been the only way), I think models of marriage which are fit for modern society should be
explored. If there was ever a time where modern couples discovered, for themselves and to
their satisfaction, how marriage should look like and where gender roles fit (if at all); it’s
In its current format, I think about becoming a wife and I start sweating!